Friday, September 9, 2011

Hanging at the Gym

When you work out at a gym and attend classes frequently enough, you get to know all the “regulars” at the gym and maybe if you are dedicated enough, become one yourself. I’ve been making a real effort to get to the gym during lunchtime lately and have started to notice the regular cast of characters that seem to be on the same rotation as me. Thought I’d share my observations with you all.
• The athletic brunette in the front of the total body conditioning class. I hope she appreciates that fantastic body because the rest of the class certainly does and hates her for it. It won’t last, honey, so enjoy it while you can. No really, nice job.
• The chic with the toe-shoes in the middle of the class. We all now know that you are a belly dancer on the side. Quit shaking your butt during class, this ain’t a dance class. And those shoes are ugly.
• The blond chic that keeps pretending not to know how to do the exercise to get the instructor’s attention. Quit hogging the hot instructor, why do you think the rest of us come to the class?
• The backbenchers. Quit showing up for class early and taking up all the back space. You aren’t leaving any room for me.
• The older lady who insists on walking around the locker-room naked. Yes, you look great for your age. But please, for the love of God, put some underwear on. If I have to see you bend over one more time, I may need to poke my eyes out.
• The Russian girl who insists on wearing bright colored underwear under white clothes. You are taking “If you’ve got it, flaunt it” to a whole new low.
• The older gentleman who always sings during spinning class. You rock.
• The guy with BO in spinning class. There is a thing called deodorant. Use it
• Finally, the conditional class instructor. You are one fine specimen with a cult following, and you know it. That’s ok. You can yell at me all you want.